They say for many adults to return to college they will need to go through a traumatic life transition; divorce, death of loved one, loss of job or mid-life crisis. Nine years ago I left a good life, leaving a husband and many friends behind. It was a difficult time in my life – not being able to have children with the loss of three pregnancies, I had a breakdown. I asked myself often, “What was the point to my life?” My husband and I bought a five bedroom home hoping to fill it with screaming kids. When this never happened we decided to adopt but I was not ready for adoption – something within my thoughts kept pulling me away. I wanted more but I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. So, I went in search of it. Along the way I made many mistakes; being very destructive of myself and those around me. I was depressed.

One day I called an old friend and explained I was moving back to the area and needed a job. Before I knew it I was working for a university. “Wow” I thought! “Now I can go back to school.” It was a daunting time for me. I’ve never attended college, my family never went to college and most of my friends never went. Very much like Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. I was a blank slate; feeling intimidated and even stupid. I remember my first day of class…

A co-worker saw I was nervous and started to tease. He said, “Wait till you see the syllabus.” I respond, “Oh my God, what is that?” He said, “An outline of the course.” I say, “Well then, why don’t they just call it an outline?” He says, “Then it wouldn’t be college.” He continues to go on about all the papers, reading, tests and presentations. I was freaking out especially because I didn’t even know what a syllabus was – already feeling STUPID. I took one class at a time; a slow start. My first class was Introduction to Criminal Justice – I passed with an A+. This helped build my confidence and I was on my way. The first few years, I took one class at a time getting all As. I found solace in my course work; almost like therapy. The courses I took were mostly Sociology; learning about human social structure and activity. I was not only learning about theory, I was learning about me. Which helped with my depression. I was gaining knowledge which lead to confidence. My vocabulary had changed. I was changing.  After a few years, I decided I can’t wait for my degree. I want it now! Halfway through I decided to go full-time, especially, after learning of so many adults who sat next to me in class working full-time jobs, having 3+ screaming kids, and going to school full-time. I thought, “I can do that!” After all, I only had me to worry about. And, so I did.

Looking back it took a long time, and I struggled. For three years I had worked two jobs and school. I was tired but in the end it was worth it. There were even times when I took a semester or two off because I was just sick and tired of all the papers, reading, tests and presentations. But another traumatic life transition to continue my education was the passing of my father. I think of this turning point in my life as the “Release from the Cave.” He insisted I finish school. You see, I am the first one in my family to graduate high school and the first one to go onto college and now FINISH! This fall I start graduate school all for my father.

I graduated May 9, 2009 with a Sociology degree and two minors in Business Management and Communications. It was a surreal moment in my life. I thought long and hard about my marriage from eight years ago. My degree was closure to my past. I would have never gone to school had I not left. Other than the broken hearts my regrets are no longer. I have changed my fate. I am the graduate!