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The Jerk – All I need is this flashlight.

My mornings pretty much run smoothly. I enjoy the calm quietness with my bunnies.

I usually take a shower at night, but feeling lazy, I decided to wait until morning. When the alarm went off at 5:00 AM, I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t slept well, so of course, I reached for the snooze. Only I didn’t hit the snooze. 30 minutes later, brain dead, I realize it was the off button, and out of bed I jump with no time for coffee.

Because I take my showers in the evenings, I never blow dry my hair. It was snowing and cold outside, so at the very least, I had to get rid of the dampness. With the blow dryer on low, it wasn’t getting the job done fast enough. – On high it goes.

Keep reading – it gets better.

 A hint of something on fire, “POP,” the power goes out. I put the dryer down and proceed to the fuse box; which is in the garage three flights downstairs. As I approach the garage, I remember that the fuse box is on the back wall, buried behind the Boy’s van, and the only way to get to the other side is open the garage door. Naked, I run back upstairs to get dressed. Back in the basement, Irealize I need a flashlight since the garage does not have enough light to see.

The Boy is a big fan of flashlights. He should buy stock in companies that supply us with flashlights. He buys five every time he sees one. Hell, it’s on his Christmas wish list with a tag, “You can never have enough flashlights.” We have so many flashlights that we could light a football field. I even have two flashlights in my purse because of him. Another cool investment is his plastic containers of all shapes and sizes. Our entire house is well organized and labeled. Oh yes, yet another investment; duct tape. We have a big bag of all different colors. Our things are color coordinated and labeled with duct tape. I have yellow labeling my things because that’s my favorite color.  Okay, so we have flashlights, containers, and duct tape…

Back in the basement, I can’t find a flashlight, and all the containers are labeled, but not one says, “FLASHLIGHTS.” Searching and searching, I find one. I go to turn it on, and guess what happens? Yep! The battery is completely dead; yet another investment. Scratching my head, I remember seeing a container labeled batteries. “Where was that?” It’s like that damn memory card game, and I suck at it. When searching for…for…for… ”What am I doing?” Oh yes! Pissed at this point, I toss the flashlight aside, and go upstairs to get one of the two flashlights in my purse.

Power back on, dryer on low, and I’m thinking, “I really want to wake him up!!!”

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